the winding road of recovery...

Many similar themes of recovery from last week showed up this week as well. The group seemed to resonate on the fact that recovery isn’t perfect. As much as we would like a formula and specific steps to follow, recovery will be unique to every person. One member encouraged another that even when we fall down or slip up, that doesn’t mean we have to have a full relapse. Being honest with ourselves and others who are supportive will help us get back up again and keep moving forward; whereas hiding and denying will only keep us stuck in a vicious cycle of eating disorder behavior. We were reminded that transformation occurs when comfort converges with discomfort, and often recovery is very uncomfortable! But if we continue to take risks, trust our team of support, and persevere through the hard times, the benefits of recovery will far outweigh the bondage of being stuck in an eating disorder.

Another member was encouraged in her endeavor to find support in other places besides her family, who is unable to provide the support she needs. This can often feel like a grief, because we want our families to understand and help us through recovery, and sometimes they just aren’t able to do that. However, support group, therapists, dieticians, and close friends can usually provide the support that is so needed during this time. One member spoke of learning to trust herself in places that used to be triggering, like the gym or grocery store, and how making a plan and sticking to it usually helps us stay centered in distressing times. The whole group was inspired to keep making choices that will be effective for them in their unique journey towards recovery. Wishing you all strength and encouragement wherever you are on your journey today,

Kathryn

Is it possible to fully recover from an eating disorder?

Support was flourishing and vital at this week's group, as many members posed challenges and acknowledged successes from the past week.  It rings true that no matter where we are in our stage of recovery, there is always a new challenge to face and another step to take.  This can be hard work, but can also offer fresh opportunities for learning and growth.  A common theme this week was pushing through these steps towards recovery and, as no one's steps look quite the same, wondering how and when we will know if we are truly on the path to getting free of this eating disorder.  Some members threw the word "healthy" out there and talked about their struggles to accept this word as a compliment instead of a threat.  A new member offered encouragement and support to a returning member, who had not been to the group for months.  She extended her hand to build a bridge with other members, echoing her own experience in treatment and relaying the instance of when she reached a healthier weight, some of the negative thoughts and impulses were miraclously replaced by happy and self-affirming thoughts.

A question posed by one member to the group that echoed through the room was: is it possible to every truly recover from an eating disorder, or is it something that "you will have to live with for the rest of your life"?  Each member had a different opinion about this and a unique perspective about what the answer might mean for them.  A resounding agreement came at the conclusion that we cannot know for sure, as we each experience recovery in our own way, at our own pace.  And, recovery being the beautifully imperfect thing that it is, it will always take shapes that shift and go in different directions at will.  Some members agreed that you can certainly recovered from eating disordered behaviors and manage many of the negative thoughts, but that there are other associated issues such as anxiety, depression, control issues, perfectionism, and low self esteem that may be factors that we managed throughout our lives.  Until we can discover and heal the true pain that is under the eating disorder, these other ways of coping will continue to be present after the ED has waned.  What do you think?

Wishing you peace, harmony, and inner strength on your path to recovery,
Kate

Living Out of ME

The consistent theme that kept appearing this week was how to be our own true self, regardless of external pressures or influences to be someone that we’re not. Many group members expressed the difficulty in expressing emotions verbally (without using their eating disorder), and standing up for themselves when they knew they needed to say something. The question underlying this is “who am I, and what defines me, without my eating disorder?” This can be scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Often in recovery, relationships change because we’ve changed, and it can be difficult to redefine yourself and live in your truth, regardless of what friends, spouses, co-workers, and family members think. So the group asked, how do I let go live from my true identity and let go of the influence of other’s opinions? It takes honesty, self-awareness, integrity and the courage to live out who we truly are.

I’m astounded still at the group’s desire to discover who they are without their eating disorder, continue growing into their true identity, and use their voice to express what’s going on inside. Maturity was shown as members expressed a willingness to grow, be authentic with themselves and others, and trust in the process even when don’t feel it. I applaud the group in this endeavor and encourage everyone to continue to discover and live out of the unique person they are.

Kathryn

Small Steps

First, I want to show my appreciation to the group for welcoming me as a new co-facilitator, and allowing me to be a part of your journey towards recovery. For the past three meetings, I have been amazed at the group’s solidarity, honesty, and generous support for one another. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and real about eating disorders with others, and I applaud this.

This week’s group consisted of a mixture of somber challenges followed by encouraging feedback. Several members explained their successes as their challenges. For example, when we give something up that’s detrimental to our recovery (a relationship, an ineffective habit, a quick and temporary escape, or the masks we try to wear), we also forfeit the benefits that came alongside it. The small steps were emphasized as actually momentous steps towards recovery, like making the choice not to look at the scale, taking needed medications, self care, reaching out to others for help, and making an action plan for times of intense distress. Members discussed that even though recovery requires letting go of things that brought (perceived) comfort before, there is much opportunity to grow, be free, discover your true self, and experience authentic relationships without ED dominating you.

I continue to encourage you to keep making those small choices that will propel you on your path into recovery. They truly do make all the difference. Looking forward to seeing all of you next week,

Kathryn