Controlling what we can and Surrendering what we cannot

Control seemed to be the recurring theme throughout last night’s group. As one member stated, “we have to control what we can and let go of the rest.” Sometimes we can feel like our eating disorder gives us our only sense of control when everything around us is out of control: changing jobs, losing relationships, financial burdens, family dynamics, moving to a new town, or simply everyday life seemed to be the uncontrollable and unpredictable parts of the member’s lives in this present time.

What if we could have a sense of control over our life that would propel us forward towards recovery instead of one that kept us stuck in disordered eating and self harm? For example, SELF-CONTROL by sticking to our meal plan, managing our emotions, receiving support (therapist, nutritionist, group), controlling our responses to others, taking care of our self (medications, sleep, balance), improving our communication, and doing the most effective things we need to keep us on track. Ok, so we can’t control things outside of ourselves, but we can control ourselves in a way that keeps us going in the direction we want, away from the eating disorder and towards recovery.

Members discussed the difference between supporting our sick self or supporting our healthy self. Daily, we have to differentiate between the voice of disordered eating and the voice of freedom and recovery, and choose which one we will follow. Self-control can be exercised in this area through awareness and making the choice to listen to our healthy self, which in the long run will lead to recovery.

May the next week be one of practicing controlling what we can (ourselves) and surrendering control of what we cannot.

Kathryn