Finding "real love" for ourselves and offering this gift to others

Last night, the support group spent a good amount of time discussing what "real love" is, how to find it with others, and most importantly, how to offer it to ourselves.  One member brought a book and read a powerful passage about finding ourselves afloat in the sea of life and encountering all types of loves - those that make us feel that we are drowning, and those that pull us onto a lifeboat.  Sometimes, the difference between these two loves is ambiguous and we follow the tide until we fully embrace the essence of this force.  I think that eating disorder recovery is deeply connected to this metaphor.  Eating disorders are seductive, mysterious, and enticing things, that at the beginning may try to tell us they are there to "save" us.  We might get on that lifeboat only to find ourselves with our head under water as we are tugged along a treacherous path.  What I found so amazing about this discussion last night was the unifying theme that many members spoke to of finding inner strength -- a strength that empowered them to choose the type of love that we will allow into our lives.  And, if dangerous and deadly loves have influenced us, perhaps in the form of an abusive partner, in the form of pills, or in the form of an eating disorder, we can still see the light that we may rise up and use our inner strength to battle this force.

While there was a note of empowerment and hope, there was also a harsh reality of the dangerous turns that eating disorders can tempt us to take.  Several members echoed their concern and pain over the struggles of a dear friend, and these members noted how personally their friend's struggle was touching them.  This raw moment bonded the whole group as we sat with the harsh reality of the ways these disorders can damage every part of us.  The silver lining, however, is in the fierce dedication that group members have to one another and to anyone else who suffers from an eating disorder.  While eating disorders are unfortunately not getting any less invasive, we do know that the power of friendship and support can help pull us through and find a safer, more bright side of life.  This was emanating from the support group last night, as each member resolved not to give up her fight for recovery.

-Kate