Trust

Trusting can be incredibly difficult in general and especially hard when recovering from an eating disorder. Not only do you have to trust those who are providing treatment (therapists, nutritionists) and those who support you (family, friends, spouses, support group), but you have to trust yourself too. Tonight in group, members spoke of trusting themselves, especially to take risks and small steps towards recovery. One member discussed trusting herself to pack a balanced lunch, another had to trust herself enough to allow herself to take a break from life’s demands, and another spoke of her desire to not be paralyzed by fear but rather to be willing to take risks despite knowing the results of her efforts.

There comes a point in recovery when you have to learn to trust yourself to give your body what it needs and desires. Learning self-care requires taking risks in giving yourself what you need, instead of what you think or tell yourself you need. One member put it well: ‘you can’t think yourself into a new way of being, you have to experience yourself into a new way of being,” meaning you have to take the small steps in becoming the person you want to be. Every person has that intuitive voice, the one that is the healthy voice, and we have to trust that it knows best and follow it.

Every week, members reveal ways they are trusting themselves on their recovery journey. They trust their true voice by challenging their eating disordered thoughts and behavior, setting healthy boundaries in relationships, being honest, staying on board with treatment regardless of how they feel, and not isolating. They inspire one another to trust their healthy voice, not the sick voice that is marked by fear, that defines you by a number, and that lies about your self-worth being defined by your appearance. As usual, I was inspired by the group's courage, and I hope we all continue to trust ourselves and continue taking the small steps to become more whole and healthy individuals.

Kathryn